<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>when the night falls down (i wait for you and you come around) by cheryltonis</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22781452">when the night falls down (i wait for you and you come around)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheryltonis/pseuds/cheryltonis'>cheryltonis</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Riverdale (TV 2017)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>ChONI AU, Cheryl Blossom Needs a Hug, F/F, Not an 80’s theme unfortunately, choni, issa San Junipero au, the San Junipero AU I guess some people asked for</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 16:08:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,716</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22781452</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheryltonis/pseuds/cheryltonis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The loading ring around the TCKR Systems logo glowed blue behind her closed eyelids before she found herself somewhere she’d never been.</p>
<p>Choni: San Junipero edition</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cheryl Blossom/Toni Topaz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>145</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>well hi! i guess my newest thing is writing the choni/san junipero au that’s apparently never been done before? </p>
<p>it’s gonna follow the plot of the black mirror episode while also following its own original plot. if you haven’t watched the episode yet, this fic will have spoilers for that, and if you watch or have watched the episode, that just might contain spoilers for the fic. but if you have no idea what’s going on and just came here to read then welcome and ignore me! regardless of if you have any idea what i’m talking about, i hope you enjoy! </p>
<p>it’s gonna probably be confusing at first but bear with me, i’ll explain in due time.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“And you’re certain this is safe?”</p>
<p>
  <em>I know that voice…</em>
</p>
<p>“Trust me. This company has spent decades perfecting this system. We know it’s new and scary, but I assure you, your sister is in good hands. To her, it’ll be just like going to sleep and dreaming. She won’t feel any pain. It’s not her body, it’s merely her consciousness.”</p>
<p>“Five hours, one night a week?”</p>
<p>
  <em>I swear I know that voice.</em>
</p>
<p>“That’s all we can allow as of right now. Any more than that and it could have severe negative effects to her frontal lobe that will affect her daily life. But I’ll be with her every Friday night, monitoring her while she’s under to be sure that the system runs smoothly, as well as a bit of talk therapy after.”</p>
<p>“As long as you’re sure this is good for her. I honestly don’t think she should be here in the first place, but as you know, our parents are rather insistent on it since her...accident. I just...I hate to see her like this. I want her to get better, that’s why I reached out-“</p>
<p>
  <em>Jason.</em>
</p>
<p>“I understand, Mr. Blossom. And I sympathize. I’ve been observing Cheryl over the past month or so. I don’t believe her case is as...severe as some of the others here. I’m glad you reached out to us for her. From what I’ve seen, I thought she would be a perfect candidate for this program. It will give her the sense of normalcy that she’s missed out on since being hospitalized. Even if it’s only for five hours, one day a week.”</p>
<p>“So there will be others there...like her?”</p>
<p>“Our number of candidates has grown over the past few years. All of which come from different backgrounds with different reasons for being part of the program. Most of them are, like Cheryl, on the five hour weekly limit. And we have a handful of those that we call ‘full-timers’.”</p>
<p>“Those ones are...dead?”</p>
<p>
  <em>Dead?</em>
</p>
<p>“We prefer the term ‘passed over’, but...yes.”</p>
<p>It was quiet after that. Cheryl could barely register the conversation between her beloved brother and whoever else was in the room with them. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t speak. For some reason her medicine always seemed stronger on days that Jason came to visit. But he was here. She was safe for now. </p>
<p>“All right. I’m trusting you, Doctor Cooper. She’s been through enough and...well, she’s the only sister I have. I hate that I don’t get to see her more often. But with our father’s company and the twins…”</p>
<p>
  <em>Twins...my niece and nephew…</em>
</p>
<p>“She’s in good hands, Mr. Blossom. This will be good for her. It’s going to help her. Hopefully it will help her enough that your parents will allow her to return home. This isn’t an ideal place for healing, and I hope that we can get her out of here soon. Like you said, she’s been through enough. You did a good thing reaching out to us.”</p>
<p>“Thank you again, Doctor Cooper. I’ll be back to check in on her next month. Hopefully sooner. Please keep me updated on her progress.”</p>
<p>
  <em>Wait...don’t leave, JJ….</em>
</p>
<p>“I will. I promise. Have a good night, Mr. Blossom.”</p>
<p>The sound of her door closing caused Cheryl to flinch. The creaking metal hinges had never been the most comforting sound. Usually the noise of the door was followed by a nurse barking at her to join the others in the rec room for the day. Sometimes the shrieking hinges meant a painful shot delivered to her by a perverted orderly who liked to stick his greasy hand up her blue linen skirt. She’d learned early on not to fight back.</p>
<p>She hated the sound of that door. It never meant freedom. Only pain and the same dull, monotonous routine she’d known for...how long had she been here? After the first few months, it all started to blur together...</p>
<p>“Cheryl? It’s Doctor Cooper, it’s Betty. Can you hear me?”</p>
<p>She could hear her, but...everything felt too swirly and numb. She couldn’t get her mouth to work even if she tried. All she could do was stare up at the dull white ceiling, tracing the brown water damage stain with her tired eyes. </p>
<p>“Can you try to squeeze my hand if you can hear me?”</p>
<p>She used every bit of energy she had to clench the warm hand that held hers. It was weak, but Doctor Cooper must have felt it.</p>
<p>“Good. Good job. We’re going to start your program today. Remember we talked about it last week? About San Junipero?”</p>
<p>She squeezed again.</p>
<p>“Good. You’ll be there for five hours once I turn your chip on. You can do whatever you want. Have fun while you’re there, meet new people and make some friends, okay? Most of them will be there every week with you.”</p>
<p>She gave her a shaky squeeze. Anywhere was better than here, even if it wasn’t real. The whole program seemed too good to be true when she heard about it. Sure, she would still be in this dreaded hospital in her desolate cell, but this was her only chance to get away from it all. She couldn’t even rely on her dreams to take her away anymore. On the nights that her mind was active enough, her head was filled with nothing but nightmares.</p>
<p>She heard Betty move around her small cell, moving and gathering a few things before she felt a piece of cold plastic being stuck to her temple, making her flinch again. </p>
<p>“This is your chip. Once it’s on, it can access your entire consciousness to make your life in San Junipero as comfortable as possible. Your clothing, your living space...all of it is pulled from data collections of your personality and interests. We’ll turn the system off at midnight and you’ll be brought right back here, kind of like waking up from a dream.”</p>
<p>She could just barely see the blonde in her peripheral vision as she stared up at the ceiling, counting the keyboard clicks as best she could. Either Doctor Cooper typed too fast, or Cheryl was too drugged to keep up, but she lost count after four.</p>
<p>“Okay, Cheryl, we’re all set up. Squeeze my hand when you’re ready.”</p>
<p>Blinking her eyes slowly, Cheryl squeezed her hand weakly but without a moment of hesitation. She was more than ready to be and <em>feel</em> normal again. </p>
<p>She heard the blonde doctor take a deep breath followed by the simple click of a button before everything went blurrier than it already was. She felt like she was being pulled into a state of unconsciousness like after she was given a strong tranquilizer. Only this came with no pain and no fear. </p>
<p>A loading ring around the TCKR Systems logo glowed blue behind her closed eyelids before she found herself somewhere she’d never been. </p>
<p>An alarm clock flashing 7:00 in bright green numbers stared back at her as she blinked her eyes open like she’d just awoken from a deep sleep. Sitting up, she glanced down at her body, pleased to find that no bruises, cuts, or scars marking her pale skin under the satin red nightgown she had on. She used to wear them almost every night in high school. But that was before…</p>
<p>She slowly swung her legs over the edge of the bed, not used to moving around with such ease. In reality, every move she made was painful. But here, she didn’t feel anything. She stretched out her legs, loving how she could wiggle her toes and bend her knees without pain from bruises or pulled muscles. Like Doctor Cooper said, she would only experience this for five hours one day a week. And after everything she’d endured in the past, she wasn’t planning on taking this for granted.</p>
<p>She stood up with a wince, hoping that the action didn’t bring on any pain. Not surprisingly, it didn’t, but Cheryl knew that it was going to take a while to get used to. With a sigh of relief, she padded with bare feet around her bedroom. It wasn’t extravagant or even very big, but it was <em>hers</em>. And it wasn’t her cell. </p>
<p>It was perfect. </p>
<p>“Welcome to San Junipero, Cheryl,” a robotic voice came from her dresser, making her nearly jump out of her skin. Curiously tip-toeing over, Cheryl spotted a cell phone sitting atop the wood amongst a few pamphlets and papers, the same words that had just been spoken out loud flashing across the screen. She picked the phone up in dainty fingers and tapped the screen with her bottom lip caught between her teeth, causing a video message to come up, the smiling face on Doctor Cooper looking right back at her. </p>
<p>
  <em>“Hi, Cheryl. Welcome to San Junipero. I know this experience is new, but you’ll get the hang of it. There should be a few pamphlets on your dresser with a map of the town, things to do, places to go, things like that. Your closet should be full with clothes that the system picked out from your stream of consciousness. The fridge will restock itself each time you visit, so no need to worry about grocery shopping. You don’t have any keys, but your apartment door can be unlocked with your thumbprint.”</em>
</p>
<p>Cheryl’s brown eyes lit up in surprise. Sure, she came from a rich family, and never wanted for anything materialistic, but she’d never lived like this before. Here, she had independence and didn’t have to rely on anyone else; That was something she’d always wanted, but could never attain. </p>
<p>
  <em>“The cell phone is yours too. Unfortunately, there’s no social media and no outgoing calls or texts to anyone but other candidates. The only contact you have right now is the TCKR Systems emergency line. Which, if you call it, it will only turn the system off and bring you back to the real world. And once you’re out, you can’t go back in until your next session, so only use it if you absolutely have to.”</em>
</p>
<p>Cheryl nodded, despite knowing that Doctor Cooper couldn’t see her. Considering the background behind the blonde was some kind of tech-heavy science lab and not her dark and dreadful grey cell, she knew that this must have been a pre-recorded video. </p>
<p>
  <em>“We’ll talk about your first night when you come back. But until then, enjoy yourself! Take advantage of your time there. I have a feeling you’re gonna love it.”</em>
</p>
<p>The screen went black, leaving Cheryl alone in the silence once more. With a hand that trembled with nerves, she picked up one of the pamphlets on the dresser. Shopping malls, clubs, beaches...this place had everything. She just needed to decide what to do first.</p>
<p>An excited huff left her lips as she turned back to her closet, sifting through her assortment of clothes. She hadn’t had a choice in her clothes since she was a teenager. The system certainly captured her love of the color red. Then again, in recent years, she wasn’t the biggest fan of red anymore. Red was blood. Red was the scrubs on the rough, handsy orderlies and the itchy wool sweater she was forced to wear even in the sweltering heat.</p>
<p>Perhaps she’d forgo her signature color tonight...She could try again next week. </p>
<p>Checking the weather on her new cell phone, she smiled at the temperature. A perfect seventy degrees with a light breeze to cool her down. Just how she liked it. She wondered if the weather was set to her personal preferences as well or if it was just a coincidence. As far as she knew, she wouldn’t even be able to feel it. </p>
<p>Sifting through her closet, she managed to find a plain white scoop neck t-shirt and dark blue skinny jeans amongst the sea of red. They fit perfectly, hugging her curves in a way that made her feel confident for the first time in years. It was impossible to feel confident and beautiful at the hospital. </p>
<p>She tucked her shirt into her jeans and slipped on a pair of white sneakers. Her old self would go straight for the collection of heels, but who knew if she even knew how to walk in them anymore? It had been...</p>
<p>Why couldn’t she remember how long it had been since she’d been sent away?</p>
<p>After her shoes were on, Cheryl stepped out into the rest of the apartment. It was cozy and comfortable with a little bit of glam to it. It really fit her to a T. At least she thought it did. She wasn’t sure if she even liked things like that anymore. She didn’t exactly have the bar set very high. Anything was better than the cot in her cell with the rusty spring sticking out of it. </p>
<p>She swallowed thickly as she approached the door to the balcony, eager to get her first glimpse of the town outside her apartment. The place sounded so amazing, she could only imagine what it looked like. </p>
<p>Sliding the glass door open, she stepped out and glanced around as the breeze blew through her long straight hair. </p>
<p>“Wow,” she uttered her first word with a shaky gasp as she glanced around. From her high-rise balcony she could see what she assumed was the main strip of the town, lined with clubs and stores lit up in neon. She could hear the bass of the music coming from the clubs and the giddy laughter of people on the street down below, each of them likely going to make the most of their five hours. </p>
<p>And Cheryl knew that she should be doing the same. </p>
<p>She spun around on her toes, practically running back into her apartment to run a quick brush through her hair and touch herself up with a bit of makeup after finding all the necessary items in her bathroom. She really could get used to this. They didn’t miss a single detail. </p>
<p>Once she was satisfied enough with her appearance, she stood up straight and stared her reflection in the eye. It was so strange to look at herself and not see her usual sunken eyes, bruised neck, and scraped cheeks. She looked like herself again. The version of herself that had been lost somewhere in her past, even before being admitted to the Sisters of Quiet Mercy. She just hoped that she could manage to act as confident as she looked. </p>
<p>Biting down on her pink bottom lip, she looked herself over once more before sighing and heading for the door. She could feel the fluttering in her chest and the nervous wrenching of her stomach, but if she stubbed her toe or even simply touched the doorknob, she wouldn’t know. That was going to take some getting used to. </p>
<p>Stepping out of her apartment, she sunk back against the closed door as a gaggle of laughing people, probably around her age, made their way past her down the hall, not paying her any mind. She felt her heart beat a little faster in her chest at the idea of having friends. That was something she felt like she <em>never</em> had.</p>
<p>She and Jason had been homeschooled all their lives. The only time Cheryl ever got to interact with people her own age was at the country club every weekend. And now all she had were other patients in the hospital. While the patients varied in age from just barely out of high school to the age her nana was when she died, she couldn’t find a friend in any of them. The last time she tried, the girl had lead her down a path that only got her into trouble. </p>
<p>But people here...everyone here was in the same boat. They were all just simulated versions of their true selves, here for whatever reason just looking to heal and have a good time. </p>
<p>Keeping in step not too far behind, Cheryl followed the group down to the first floor of the apartment building and out to the bustling street. If people weren’t walking or riding their bikes on the sidewalk, cars were whizzing by. Even though she knew it wasn’t real, Cheryl hadn’t experienced anything remotely close to the ‘real world’ in so long, it was rather overwhelming. </p>
<p>Tucking her copper hair behind her ear, she followed behind the group, hoping that they didn’t think that she was stalking them. Then again they hadn’t even noticed her anyways. </p>
<p>“You guys wanna hit Pop’s before we go to Tucker’s?” one of the men in the group asked as she draped an arm around the shoulder of one of the women. </p>
<p>“Yes! Please! I’ve been craving those burgers all week,” one of the other men groaned, holding his stomach with his free hand. </p>
<p>Knitting her brows together, Cheryl followed them down the sidewalk, staying a few steps behind. They knew where they were going, she trusted them not to lead her astray. </p>
<p>After crossing the street into the part of the strip lit up by colorful neon, she looked up towards the old-school looking diner to which they were headed. She was pretty hungry. She was always hungry at the hospital. But she had no idea how food worked here. She obviously wasn’t eating anything real. Could she taste it? Would she gain weight?</p>
<p>
  <em>You don’t have to worry about that anymore, Cheryl. Your mother isn’t here to control what you eat.</em>
</p>
<p>“T, come on,” a frustrated voice from across the intersection caught her attention before she could head into the diner behind the others, “We’ve only got a couple hours, I don’t wanna waste it at Tucker’s <em>again</em>.”</p>
<p>Cheryl watched from the corner of the sidewalk as a tall girl with cornrows and studded boots chased a shorter girl through the crosswalk.</p>
<p>“No one’s forcing you, Peaches,” the petite woman with flowing pink hair and cut off denim shorts rolled her eyes as her heels clicked towards the entrance of the club across the way. </p>
<p>Cheryl watched two disappear through the door and into the darkness of the club. Biting her lip, she looked back at the diner before crossing the street, letting her curiosity get the better of her as she made a beeline for the entrance.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Glad to see that people enjoyed the first chapter! I don’t have a set update schedule for this just yet. It might turn into a “I’ll post it when I finish it” kinda thing, but who knows? Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The music got louder the closer she got to the door. She could feel her heart racing faster and faster with each step she took. She’d never even been to a house party before, let alone a club. She wasn’t quite sure what to expect. But when she stepped inside, her mind was put at ease. It wasn’t scary. If anything, it looked like fun. People were dancing, laughing, or just making conversation with each other everywhere she turned. She didn’t know what she expected, but it was a refreshing relief. </p>
<p>Stepping around the dance floor towards the bar, she cleared her throat nervously, tucking hair behind her ear as the bartender came up to her, raising an eyebrow at her in lieu of asking for her order.</p>
<p>“Can I have a glass of ice water, please,” she spoke as confidently as she could. She was so out of her element here, she was considering using the emergency line on her phone just to pull herself out. But she knew that being in a new uncomfortable situation here was way better than being where she <em>really</em> was.</p>
<p>“Wild order,” he scoffed with a chuckle before shaking his head and fetching her a glass just like she ordered. It wasn’t that Cheryl didn’t drink. She grew up on wine at dinner and champagne at special events. She’d had a few harder drinks on a few occasions, but this was her first night here. She wanted to scope the place out before anything else. Especially when she wasn’t sure if the alcohol here would even affect her.</p>
<p>“Thank you,” she mumbled to him and walked around with her glass, trying to find a seat. After how standoffish the bartender was, she didn’t exactly want to grab a stool and sit near him. Walking around with her water, she sipped at it gingerly as she glanced around, accidentally bumping into a sturdy body. A bit of her water spilled on her wrist, but she couldn’t feel it. If she hadn’t seen the shine of moisture under the neon lights, she never would have known. </p>
<p>“Sorry, I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention,” the man before her helped steady her on her feet. Cheryl flicked her wrist to get rid of the excess water on her hand, glancing up at him. He had red hair, a bit of a lighter shade than her own and freckles covering the bridge of his nose. He reminded her so much of Jason…</p>
<p>“It’s fine, I wasn’t paying attention either,” she shook her head as she wiped her hand on her jeans. </p>
<p>“I’m Archie,” he held a hand out awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck with his free hand as a lopsided smile came to his face.</p>
<p>“Cheryl,” she muttered with a close-lipped smile of her own. Archie held onto her hand a little too long and looked her up and down one too many times. He didn’t look at her the way the orderlies did. There was no malice in his eyes. He just seemed like he was looking for a companion.</p>
<p>“Do you, uh...like video games? They just got this new virtual pinball machine in the arcade…” Archie thumbed towards the room behind him that was full of arcade games. </p>
<p>She winced uncomfortably and took a step back with a small shake of her head. “Um...maybe another time. I’m just kind of looking around right now,” she muttered and turned on her heel before he could try to protest.</p>
<p>“Okay, well...yeah, another time,” she heard him call after her as she made her way around the club. She felt bad, but she really didn’t want to lead him on. It was only her first night here, she wasn’t looking for romance. Archie wasn’t really her type anyways.</p>
<p>Finding an empty little booth, she sat down on the C-shaped padded bench, placing her glass on the table carefully. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d set a cold glass of water on a wooden surface without a coaster. But apparently water rings didn’t matter here.</p>
<p>Sipping through her straw, she looked around the crowded club, wondering if anyone else was new and alone. But everyone here seemed to know at least one other person. If anyone else in this whole town was here for their first night tonight, they certainly weren’t in this club with her. </p>
<p>A flash of pink caught her eye as she leaned back against the padded bench. The petite woman from outside seemed to be in a rush, but stopped just a few feet passed Cheryl’s little table. While her back was turned to her, Cheryl couldn’t help but let her eyes wander to the head of long pink hair, following the wavy pattern down to the woman’s mid-back where her cropped tank top gave off a flash of smooth caramel skin. Even under the neon lights, the tanned skin contrasted with the acid washed denim shorts that were just barely covering all of her perfectly rounded backside…</p>
<p>“Just play along,” a weight came down on the bench beside her, pulling her mind back into focus. When did the woman end up sitting beside her? How long had she had her head cocked to the side like a drooling idiot?</p>
<p>“W-what?” Cheryl straightened up in her seat, trying to regain her lost composure.</p>
<p>“Whatever I say, just play along,” the stranger told her more firmly, making Cheryl quirk en eyebrow in shock. Who the hell did this girl think she was? She was about to give her a snarky retort, but she was interrupted before she could even let out a breath.</p>
<p>“T...let’s go, come on. I’m sick of this place,” the taller girl with cornrows and dark lipstick came up to approach the table.</p>
<p>“Peaches, seriously, this is getting old,” the pinkette shook her head as she stared up at her, “There’s plenty of people in this town for you to fuck, go find one of them. I’m trying to catch up with an old friend.”</p>
<p>Hold on...was she…?</p>
<p>The leather-clad woman looked Cheryl up and down as best she could with her arms crossed over her chest. “Old friend, huh?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Cheryl looked at the woman beside her, watching her pink waves bounce with a sure nod, “We went to school together. We met in what? Seventh grade?” Brown eyes filled with mild panic stared back at her, urging her to play along like she’d been told. </p>
<p>“Mr. Langford’s biology class,” she nodded in confirmation and smiled sweetly, sipping at her water.</p>
<p>“God, he was such a creep,” the woman rolled her eyes with an admittedly infectious laugh as she draped an arm around the back of the booth over Cheryl’s shoulders. </p>
<p>“Okay, well...we only have like, three and a half hours left-“</p>
<p>“God, can I just spend some time with my friend? She’s only got like, six months to live, P.”</p>
<p>“Only five, actually,” Cheryl piped up with a sad mumble, putting her acting chops to good use as a silent tear fell down her porcelain cheek, “It’s spreading faster than they thought.” Through her teary eyes, she saw the pinkette look at her with what she could only perceive as genuine shock at her input to her tall tale. But she whipped back towards the other woman as her arm tightened around Cheryl’s trembling shoulders.</p>
<p>“Yeah, see? I wanna spend some time with her before it’s too late...privately.”</p>
<p>“Okay, okay, I’ll uh...see you around, T,” the taller woman backed off awkwardly before turning and leaving them alone in the little booth. </p>
<p>Once she was far enough away, the girl with sun-kissed skin took her arm from around Cheryl’s shoulders as the redhead wiped her tears as if nothing had happened, sipping at her water again. “Okay, that was fucking amazing.”</p>
<p>Cheryl just breathed a light laugh and shrugged her shoulders, “I’ve had some practice.”</p>
<p>“Hey, it paid off. You saved my ass,” she chuckled and held her hand out, “I’m Toni. Sorry for making you terminal. As shitty as it sounds, I knew it was the only thing that would get her off my back.”</p>
<p>“Cheryl. And it’s fine, glad I could help,” the blushing redhead shook her hand gently, “Does she not have anyone else to pester?”</p>
<p>“She’s got plenty, but apparently I’m her favorite one,” Toni rolled her eyes with a shake of her head, “She’s not all bad. She just always wants to go to the Quagmire or the White Wyrm and fuck around.”</p>
<p>“The what?”</p>
<p>The pinkette shook her head with a distant look in her eyes, “Trust me, if you don’t already know, you might wanna keep it that way.”</p>
<p>Cheryl gave her a quiet nod, unsure of what to say as the music bumped through the speakers around them. Her senses were so confused. She couldn’t feel her drink in her hand, but she could feel the refreshingly cold water hit the back of her throat, quenching her thirst. She could feel her heart beating uncomfortably fast in her chest. And she could smell the floral musk of Toni’s perfume in her close proximity, but she couldn’t feel her bare knee bumping against her thigh.</p>
<p>“What are you drinking?” </p>
<p>“Water.”</p>
<p>“Water? That’s it?”</p>
<p>Cheryl shrugged her shoulders as she finished off the glass, excusing her rudeness as the leftover liquid made a loud slurping noise through her straw.</p>
<p>“Come on, you saved me, I’m gonna get you a real drink.” Cheryl didn’t even have time to protest before Toni stood up, taking a hold of her hand to drag her up and out of the booth, pink waves bouncing with each step they took. Her pale fingers gripped onto Toni’s tan ones more tightly as they weaved through the crowded dance floor towards the bar. She really didn’t want to talk to the bartender again…</p>
<p>“Hey Sweets!” Toni leaned over the bar as Cheryl took a seat on one of the stools, watching Toni wave the tall man over.</p>
<p>“What can I get ya, Toni?” he smirked as he wiped down the polished wooden countertop in front of them.</p>
<p>“Two tequila sunrises,” she held up two slim fingers as she sat down on the stool beside Cheryl.</p>
<p>The redhead bit her lip as the bartender looked between them, “You sure your friend can handle the hard stuff? She ordered a <em>water</em> earlier,” he chuckled sarcastically, sending a rush of itchy heat to Cheryl’s face.</p>
<p>“Just make the drinks, asshole,” Toni reached over to playfully slap his bare, tattooed bicep under his ripped denim vest, making him laugh as he walked away, “Ignore him, he’s a dick.”</p>
<p>Cheryl just laughed quietly, tucking hair a little awkwardly behind her ear as she glanced around the crowded club, watching people dance under the colorful glowing lights. But when she turned back to her pink haired companion, she was a deer in headlights as she saw Toni glancing her up and down. “...Do I have something on my face?”</p>
<p>“No, I’m just...taking you in,” she shook her head and smirked, sizing her up once more before their drinks were placed on the counter. She thanked the bartender quietly before holding up her glass, urging Cheryl to do the same. “Cheers.”</p>
<p>“Cheers,” Cheryl repeated back to her, taking a sip of her drink after clinking their glasses together. The bitter tequila mixed with the tangy orange juice and sweet grenadine hit her taste buds immediately before the liquid slid smoothly down her throat with a tingly burn. The feeling wasn’t unpleasant, but foreign since it had been so long since she’d had anything but murky water to drink. </p>
<p>“Easy there,” Toni chuckled, reaching a hand over, prepared to steady her if necessary, “Have you never had tequila before or something?”</p>
<p>“I have, it’s just...been a while,” the redhead muttered before taking another sip. The fact that it tasted exactly how it was supposed to amazed her. She just wondered if the alcohol would have the same effect on her as it would in real life. She hoped it would loosen her up, but being a bit of a lightweight, she didn’t want to go overboard.</p>
<p>Toni’s eyes looked her up and down, making every inch of pastel skin turn a deep shade of pink. Cheryl had plenty of experience with admirers, but none of them were as...intimidating as the woman in front of her. Not to mention they weren’t as visually appealing either. </p>
<p>“Do you live here?”</p>
<p>“No I’m just, um…”</p>
<p>“Visiting?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I guess you could call it that,” she shrugged, sipping at the sweet and tangy drink again. </p>
<p>“Are you new? I haven’t really seen you around, and I’m pretty sure I would have noticed.”</p>
<p>A chill ran up Cheryl’s spine as her heartbeat sped up in her chest at the comment. Why did this girl have such an effect on her? It’s like she was sent to her through the simulation to test her endurance. Maybe that’s what this all was. A test to see if she was still the deviant, depraved little girl her mother always said she was.</p>
<p>“It’s my first night, actually.”</p>
<p>“<em>What?!</em>” Toni gaped at her, her lips curving into a smile despite her slacked jaw, “It’s your first night here and you’re just letting me keep you sitting here to chat?” </p>
<p>Cheryl was about to open her mouth to tell her that it was okay, she wasn’t planning on going too crazy anyways. Not to mention, she was enjoying the pinkette’s company. But heels clicked against the floor as Toni hopped down from her stool, holding a hand out to her. “Come on, let’s go dance. I love this song.”</p>
<p>Glancing briefly between the crowded dance floor and her new friend, Cheryl bit her pink bottom lip in hesitation, not going unnoticed by Toni.</p>
<p>“Come on, it’s just a dance floor. It won’t bite,” she giggled, still holding her hand out.</p>
<p>The genuine smile on her face along with the sincerity in her eyes had Cheryl’s anxieties melting away. She was right, she was here to have fun and be normal. </p>
<p>She failed to bite back a smile as she grabbed onto Toni’s hand tightly, stepping down from her barstool and following the petite woman into the middle of the dance floor. Girls could hold hands, that wasn’t unusual. But for some reason, the simple touching of their fingers made it seem like all eyes were on them. And not in a good way. </p>
<p>Cheryl remembered when she was a teenager, she lived for dramatics and being the center of attention, no matter how much trouble it got her into. After a tantrum, her mother would pinch the cartilage of her ear and pull her up to her feet, making it feel like she was going to rip her ear clean off. But it got her the attention she craved.</p>
<p>Now, as she joined Toni in the middle of the lit up dance floor surrounded by swaying bodies, the redhead wasn’t too fond of the attention anymore. Her hips moved slightly as she watched Toni get into the song. The shorter girl stepped closer until they were practically toe to toe, placing her hands firmly on Cheryl’s hips as she tried to guide her movements along with the beat.</p>
<p>But the beat was lost quickly to the newcomer. The music faded in her head, sounding like it was being played from underwater. Or maybe Cheryl was the one underwater while the music played loudly above the surface. She wasn’t sure if the thumping in her chest was from the bass or from her rapid heartbeat. Toni’s hands slid around her back as she pressed herself further against her to the rhythm. And once glance around them sent Cheryl into a state of internal hysteria. </p>
<p>Eyes on them. There were eyes everywhere. Looking at them, watching them as Toni pressed herself so closely. And while no one looked on with expressions of disgust or shock, an unknown voice within had her convinced that they were judging her, laughing at her, thinking that she was a disgusting excuse for a human being for being so close with another woman. A woman she had just met, no less. They all thought the worst of her, she just knew it. And she was going to be in <em>so</em> much trouble.</p>
<p>Pushing Toni away with trembling hands, she stepped back as her breath hitched in her throat at the look on confusion on the flushed, tan face. No matter what she did, she couldn’t win. Someone would end up hating her, or thinking poorly of her. </p>
<p>Her jaw slacked as she opened her mouth to speak, wanting to apologize or excuse herself. But nothing came from her lips no matter how hard she tried. She could still feel the eyes on her and they burned. Not physically, of course. But either way, she needed to get out of there before it got any worse. So with one last glance around the crowded dance floor, Cheryl found herself turning as fast as she could, headed for the nearest exit she could find without a word, leaving Toni and everyone else in her dust.</p>
<p>Her vision blurred and tunneled as she blindly ran towards the glowing red exit sign above the nearest doorway. She just wanted to get out of there. Shame was creeping through her veins, causing her entire body to flush fiercely before she finally made it to the door, pushing it open so she could step out into the open air. </p>
<p>The sound of rain falling on the street piqued her curiosity as she looked up, squinting at the dark night clouds. She couldn’t feel the droplets hitting her skin, but she knew they were. It was, oddly enough, the strangest feeling, not being able to feel anything. Then again, not being able to feel the rain is something Cheryl was used to. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt real rain.</p>
<p>Ducking under an awning before her white t-shirt got too wet, the redhead pulled her damp hair back over her shoulders and leaned against the brick wall, wondering what to do and where to go. Maybe she would have been better off going to the diner and trying to make friends there. But how was she supposed to know that following Toni into Tucker’s was going to end with her wanting to crawl out of her own skin?</p>
<p>“Cheryl?”</p>
<p>Turning her head, Cheryl saw the pink haired girl that had caused her so much distress coming her way, holding the thin flannel that had been tied around her waist above her head to shield her from the rain. </p>
<p>“What happened in there? All of a sudden it looked like you saw a ghost and then you just dipped,” she lowered the flannel shirt, tying it back around her waist once she had joined the redhead under the awning, “Are you okay?”</p>
<p>“Sorry, I just got...claustrophobic, I guess,” Cheryl gave her an insincere smile before glancing back down at her feet, watching the rainwater start to pool around them, “Plus...people were staring...I didn’t want to start anything.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“Come on, Toni, we’re both girls...you were dancing really close to me…” she rolled her eyes and rubbed her arm awkwardly, not looking at her, “I didn’t want anyone to get mad or say something…”</p>
<p>The silence that followed was deafening. Cheryl was trying as hard as she could to avoid looking at the pinkette beside her. She was afraid of what kind of expression was resting on her face. </p>
<p>“Cheryl, I don’t know what you’ve been told, but this place...it’s not like that. San Junipero’s a huge party town, no one’s judging. Even if two girls dancing together was considered taboo, there are <em>way</em> weirder things that go down around here,” Toni leaned against the wall beside her, nudging her shoulder with a small chuckle, “So trust me, if they were staring, it’s probably just cause we’re both hot as hell and they wanted to see us give’em a show.”</p>
<p>An intense blush covered Cheryl’s face again, making her internally curse her pale complexion. But she couldn’t help but laugh breathily as she felt her nerves start to calm down. “I’ve never been to a club before. Not this kind, anyways. I guess I got a little overwhelmed.”</p>
<p>“Seriously? Never?”</p>
<p>“Never.”</p>
<p>“Damn. I’ve been clubbing since I was old enough to get a believable fake ID,” Toni snorted, swirling the bottom of her shoe around in a nearby puddle that was forming on the ground. “So what kind of clubs <em>have</em> you been to?”</p>
<p>“Country clubs,” the redhead shrugged, feeling the heat creep back onto her cheeks when Toni laughed beside her.</p>
<p><em>“Country clubs</em>? Like where hoity-toity rich people stand around and talk about how much money they have?”</p>
<p>Cheryl wanted to argue that money wasn’t always the topic of conversation, but as far as she could remember, it was a lot of talk of yachts, vacation homes, and business proposals. She wasn’t a big fan of a lot of the kids her own age there, so she mainly stuck by Jason’s side each time they went. But as they got older, Jason was always required to sit in on conversations between their father and other businessmen.</p>
<p>“I guess that’s not entirely untrue,” she muttered, feeling a little put off that the idea of going to a country club was so outrageous to Toni. </p>
<p>“As nice as being rich sounds, I think I’d take a sleazy dive bar over a country club any day,” the pinkette chuckled, “But that’s just me, I guess. You must be totally out of your element here, then, huh?”</p>
<p>A smile formed on her face. At least Toni seemed to understand, “Yeah. Not to mention I keep feeling like my parents are gonna kill me for being here. I have to keep reminding myself that it’s not really real.”</p>
<p>“Overbearing parents,” the pinkette snorted and kicked a pebble into the street, “Can’t relate there. But at least that means they care.”</p>
<p>“No,” Cheryl shook her head, “They’re more worried about appearances than about me. I’m pretty sure they’d be happier if I didn’t exist.” Her eyes widened a bit as she realized what she had said before turning to the girl beside her, “I’m sorry, that came out wrong, I didn’t mean to over share, especially when we just met, I didn’t mean to treat you like some kind of therapist.” She didn’t even know how she had slipped up like that. There was just something about Toni that made Cheryl feel like she could tell her anything.</p>
<p>“Hey, chill out, it’s okay,” Toni chuckled and reached for one of her trembling hands, squeezing it gently, “I get it. I can’t really relate, but I understand. Just relax, okay? You’re fine.”</p>
<p>Cheryl nodded as a chill ran down her spine at the sound of her breathy laughter, wishing she could feel her hand in hers.</p>
<p>“So...overbearing but negligent parents? Grew up in a country club...I’m guessing there’s a lot of things you haven’t done in your life before?” Toni leaned back against the wall, still holding onto her hand comfortingly.</p>
<p>“I’ve done plenty of things...very few were my choice, though.”</p>
<p>“So...if you had your choice, what would you do?” </p>
<p>Toni’s voice turned low and sultry, spreading a warmth through Cheryl’s body that she couldn’t describe. She could feel the tingling heat in her cheeks as her face flushed once again. Something about that voice reminded her of warm, sticky sweet maple syrup, dripping slowly over the edge of the pancakes she used to have for breakfast every Sunday morning with her family. </p>
<p>“I-I’m not really sure how to answer that,” she stammered a bit, looking down at her feet, hoping that Toni couldn’t feel how her hands were starting to shake, “There’s plenty of things I would do…”</p>
<p>“Mmhm,” Toni shifted a bit closer to her under the awning that was keeping them dry, running her free hand up her forearm with delicate, teasing fingers, making goosebumps pop up on her pale skin. Somehow, Cheryl felt that. “Well, like I said: San Junipero’s a big party town. There’s tons of stuff to do,” her voice trailed off. Cheryl could practically feel her deep brown eyes boring into the side of her head.</p>
<p>“Oh,” she swallowed thickly, unsure of what else to say, “Like, um...like what?”</p>
<p>“We could go back to my place,” Toni offered, her voice still low and seductive, making Cheryl’s heart beat faster in her chest, “We have about three hours til midnight…no use in wasting it just sitting here.”</p>
<p>The redhead swallowed the lump in her throat as she felt her brain practically short circuiting at what Toni was implying. This girl, this gorgeous woman, was really offering to take her home and show her all the things that she’d only ever dreamed about. She should be jumping at the chance while she had it. So why wasn’t she? It wasn’t like any of this was real. Who knew if she’d ever even see Toni again after tonight? </p>
<p>But she couldn’t help but think that all of this was some kind of trap. There was no way that such an attractive woman would be interested in her like that. This was definitely a set up. When the clock struck midnight she would be back in her cell and taken down to the basement of the hospital to have those deviant thoughts electrocuted out of her system. </p>
<p>“I, um...Toni, I should go,” she muttered, flicking her tongue out over her dry lips as she pulled her hand away slowly, feeling an odd sense of emptiness after.</p>
<p>“Okay, that’s cool,” Toni pushed herself off the wall with a shrug.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, I just-“</p>
<p>“No, Cheryl, it’s really okay,” she chuckled, “You said there were things you wanted to do, I shouldn’t have assumed that hooking up with a stranger was one of them. It’s all good.”</p>
<p>Cheryl felt so frustrated. She <em>did</em> want to. She wanted to go back to Toni’s place, wherever it was and spend the rest of the night doing anything the pinkette wanted. She wanted to let her have complete control and guide her through everything. But she just couldn’t shake the paranoia of what would happen after. For all she knew, she was being watched and monitored.</p>
<p>“Are you...are you here every week?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I am.”</p>
<p>“Maybe we can exchange numbers? I don’t want to lead you on or anything, but I do really enjoy talking to you. This might sound weird, but I feel like I can tell you anything. Like I’ve known you my whole life,” she bit her pink bottom lip and watched Toni’s face, hoping she didn’t creep her out with her needy little comment. </p>
<p>But the pinkette said nothing. Instead, she stepped closer until they were toe to toe once again, making Cheryl’s breath catch in her throat as an arm looped around her waist. She could smell the tequila sunrise on Toni’s breath as well as the florally musk of perfume, filling her senses as she closed her eyes, unsure of what was going to happen. But before she could react, her phone had been pulled from her back pocket and was resting in Toni’s left hand as she pulled her own phone out with her right. </p>
<p>A few little clicks and beeps later, the shorter girl was handing the phone back with a smirk. “Text me if you change your mind, Bombshell,” she looked her up and down with a smug grin before untying the thin flannel from around her waist again, holding it over her head as she left their dry spot under the awning and leaving Cheryl alone with just her thoughts and a set of weakened knees.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hallo again! If you’re here, I assume that means you’re enjoying what you’re still testing the waters to see if this ends up being trash and both are v valid.</p>
<p>This chapter is mainly just one big explanation as to most of what’s going on.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Cheryl? Can you hear me?”</p>
<p>Bleary eyes blink open into the dim light as Cheryl caught sight of the blue eyed doctor. She still felt pretty woozy. The last thing she remembered was sitting alone in her apartment eating the strawberry ice cream she found in the fridge. The clock must have struck midnight without her noticing. She wasn’t exactly keeping an eye on the time. The taste of sweet strawberry wasn’t on her tongue anymore. Instead, all she could taste was pennies like normal. The drugs always messed with her tastebuds. </p>
<p>“Cheryl?”</p>
<p>“Hmm?”</p>
<p>There were fingers on her pulse point and a stethoscope against her chest. As of right now, she was just surprised to be able to feel human contact. Those five hours had messed with her senses.</p>
<p>“It’s Doctor Cooper, you’re back in your room at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy,” the blonde explained in a gentle and quiet voice, gently removing the chip from her temple to place back in its holding unit. “Are you able to sit up so we can talk about your experience?”</p>
<p>Cheryl used all the strength she had to raise her upper half, not getting very far. She could still feel the tranquilizer in her system, but thankfully it was slowly wearing off. She knew it had to have been at least five hours since it was forced into her. </p>
<p>With the help of Doctor Cooper, she was propped lazily against the wall with her legs dangling over the edge of her bed, leaving her staring blankly at the blonde. This was the first time she’d ever gotten a good look at her. Just like with Jason, every time she was scheduled for a visit, Cheryl was given an extra dosage of her usual meds and a heavy tranquilizer. She was told that it was for her safety and the safety of her visitors.</p>
<p>“How are you feeling?” Betty sat down in the small chair she’d been provided with, holding a notebook in her lap while her laptop sat on Cheryl’s creaky wooden table.</p>
<p>“Tired,” she mumbled, reaching up to rub her eyes with the sleeve of her red cardigan.</p>
<p>The doctor jotted that down in her notebook with a nod, “Do you think you’re tired from the experience or from your medication?” </p>
<p>A simple shrug was all she got as a response before the redhead yawned, slumping against the wall and practically falling asleep in front of her. She remained silent for a few moments, just observing her patient. Cheryl wasn’t in the right headspace for this conversation. The poor girl could hardly hold her own head up, let alone form coherent sentences about her thoughts and feelings. She didn’t want to leave her without discussing her first experience with the program, but what choice did she have?</p>
<p>“Cheryl, I think what I’m gonna do is let you get some rest for the night. Hopefully the experience will still be fresh in your mind in the morning so we can talk about it.”</p>
<p>Cheryl watched as Doctor Cooper packed up her things. She wanted, so badly, to tell her that things wouldn’t change. Every time she would come, Cheryl would be too drugged to even keep her jaw from slacking, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. </p>
<p>“I’ll come around ten. Maybe we can take a walk around the garden for some fresh air while we talk. I think that will help clear your mind a bit,” she suggested as she clipped her briefcase shut. </p>
<p>The redhead knew she couldn’t tell the doctor not to waste her time. Even if she tried, the words weren’t going to come out. With a simple nod, she allowed herself to be laid against the flat, lumpy pillow and covered with the thin blanket that hardly kept her warm. No one had tucked her into bed since she was a kid. It was...nice.</p>
<p>“Goodnight, Cheryl. I’ll see you in the morning. We’ll discuss it then, but I really hope you had a good time,” Betty peered down at her before picking up her equipment and leaving the small cell.</p>
<p>Once she was alone, Cheryl yawned once more, trying to get comfortable on her flimsy cot. As much as she wanted to think about the bright lights of the bustling little city or the familiar taste of the strawberry ice cream from her freezer, her brain was too focused on the pink haired stranger she’d met just hours ago. Her heart beat faster at the thought of her smile and the way she made Cheryl’s skin break out in goosebumps. She’d never met anyone like her before and she hoped to see her again.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <strong>xxx</strong>
  </p>
</div>Something wasn’t right.<p>Something was <em>definitely</em> wrong. </p>
<p>After waking up the next morning, Cheryl was given her normal dosage of medication. Nothing extra. It was nearing ten am and no orderlies had come around to her room with her tranquilizing shot. Maybe Doctor Cooper changed her mind and wasn’t coming. Maybe Cheryl was right all along and it was all some kind of hoax, a way to prove that their “therapies” weren’t working on her. But why would Jason be in on it? Jason wouldn’t do that to her, would he?</p>
<p>“I don’t understand why I can’t just be alone with my patient. It’s a confidential conversation,” Betty’s voice came from just outside the door, followed by the gruff voice of Cheryl’s least favorite orderly.</p>
<p>“It’s for your safety.”</p>
<p>“I don’t need protecting from her, she’s not a wild animal.”</p>
<p>“Ma’am, it’s just our policy. You ordered that she be given only her necessary medications. We don’t mind leaving her alone with you when she’s sedated, but on minimal medications, she needs to be supervised.”</p>
<p>“Can you at least stand outside and we’ll just keep the door open a crack so we can still have some semblance of privacy?”</p>
<p>Silence followed that question, but the shrieking hinges of her door opening and nearly closing once again became the answer Cheryl was waiting for as the blonde doctor walked in alone with a bright smile.</p>
<p>“Good morning, Cheryl. How’d you sleep?” she asked as she set her laptop and notepad down on the little table desk.</p>
<p>“Normal, I guess,” the redhead answered, glancing between the cracked door and her doctor, “Y-you asked them to change my medication?”</p>
<p>Betty picked her head up, clearing some hair from her face with a light breath of laughter, her ponytail swaying when she shook her head, “Not really a change. There are a few unnecessary medications on your chart that we’re going to work on slowly weaning you off of, but my main concern was the sedative they give you before visitations. I wanted to talk to you about your experience in San Junipero while you have a more clear train of thought that’s not fogged by medications,” Betty sat in the small desk chair and crossed one pencil skirt-covered leg over the other.</p>
<p>Nodding her head, Cheryl licked her dry lips and crossed her legs as she leaned against the wall beside her cot, toying with the pilled fabric of her blanket. </p>
<p>“So,” Doctor Cooper started with a kind smile, “How was it?”</p>
<p>“It was...different,” she shrugged, lacing her fingers together and twiddling her thumbs nervously as she avoided eye contact as best she could. As nice as Betty seemed, she learned that within the walls of this building, no one could be trusted. “I’ve never been anywhere like it,” she flicked her tongue over her lips again with a bit of a smile, not wanting the blonde doctor to think that she didn’t at least appreciate her presence. </p>
<p>“Did you leave your apartment?”</p>
<p>“I did...I was going to go to um...Pop’s? But I ended up at this place called Tucker’s,” she muttered, squeezing her eyes shut gently as she tried to remember the names of the places she saw. The only name fresh in her mind was ‘Toni’. </p>
<p>Betty smiled and nodded, jotting that down. “What did you think of Tucker’s?”</p>
<p>“It was okay,” she shrugged, “I’ve um...never been to a nightclub before, so it was a little overwhelming.” After how Toni reacted to hearing about Cheryl’s inexperience with nightlife, she was hesitant to tell anyone else. </p>
<p>“I did notice, if you see here,” Betty showed her an animated line graph on the laptop screen, turning it so she could see, “Your heart rate did increase quite a bit a few times, which is understandable. The first few visits will be like that until you get more comfortable with the program. But here,” she pointed the tip of her pen to a high spike in her BPM between 8:30 and 9, “Something must have really struck a nerve with you. Did something happen?”</p>
<p>Swallowing hard, Cheryl looked at the time listed when her heart rate spiked the highest. </p>
<p>
  <em>“We have about three hours til midnight...no use in wasting it just sitting here.”</em>
</p>
<p>Toni’s voice was low, sultry, and clear as day in her mind. She hadn’t been able to shake that voice from her thoughts since she heard it. But she couldn’t tell Betty that. </p>
<p>“I don’t...I don’t really remember,” she muttered, shaking her head and looking down at her lap, “I just remember going...and then going back to my apartment.”</p>
<p>Betty looked her over once before nodding with a gentle grin, writing that down as well. “Okay, that’s fine. You were pretty heavily medicated, I should have known that that might affect your memory of it all. But I understand that it was overwhelming, being there for the first time. Do you have any questions about your experience?”</p>
<p>“Um...It was a little strange not being able to feel anything…” she mumbled, twiddling her thumbs nervously, glancing at the rusted burgundy door. She knew that one of the orderlies was standing by like a guard, probably eavesdropping on their conversation. “Does that ever change?” she asked, turning her attention back to the blonde in front of her. </p>
<p>“It’s kind of complicated to explain,” Betty sighed, showing her the laptop again, scrolling down to show her a few stats, “Everyone in the program has what we call ‘sliders’. It’s pretty much a sliding scale for us to control what you feel and how much. The main ones are for pain and pleasure.”</p>
<p>Cheryl nodded and looked at the screen that showed where her own settings were. She didn’t know how anyone could make sense of everything on the screen. It looked like a mixture of a trigonometry book and a professional music mixer.</p>
<p>“Typically, those on the temporary program, like yourself, have their pain sliders set to zero. Meaning, you could get hit by a car and wouldn’t feel a thing. Did you ever watch those cartoons where characters would get flattened after a big fall and just pop right back up and keep going?”</p>
<p>Cheryl smiled, nodding her head. She and Jason used to watch them when they were kids. When they could get away with it, anyways. Their parents weren’t big fans of cartoons. </p>
<p>Betty chuckled and nodded back, “Well, it’s kind of like that. Only it’s more of just a reset of your settings. You can’t get hurt. You won’t lose any limbs or even see any blood. Even if we were to set your pain slider to a higher level, you still won’t see physical damage. But all temporary candidates have their pain sliders set to zero. No exceptions.”</p>
<p>“What about the...pleasure slider?”</p>
<p>“Well, I’m sure you did feel a few things while you were there. Maybe butterflies in your stomach or chills running down your spine?”</p>
<p>“A few times,” she nodded honestly in response.</p>
<p>“So with the pleasure slider, we typically keep all candidates, both full time and temps, at a five out of ten on the scale. Anything set to a five gives you the same feeling you would get in real life. For instance, you might not be able to physically feel someone touching you, but you can feel the effect it has on you. Like if a person whispers in your ear, you won’t feel their breath on your skin, but you’ll still feel the chill down your spine as if you did.”</p>
<p>Her brows furrowed together in confusion. That made no sense, but then again, she had her consciousness uploaded into a shared database. Technology could do just about anything these days, apparently. But the more Cheryl thought about it, the more she understood why Toni taking her hand had such an effect on her despite not being able to actually feel her hand in her own. </p>
<p>“I know it’s super confusing, but you’ll get the hang of it. It certainly takes getting used to.”</p>
<p>“What about just...feeling normal things? Physically. Like, if I touch someone on the shoulder, I can’t feel them? It’s like I’m not touching anything at all. Will it always be like that?”</p>
<p>Betty pursed her lips into a tight line and glanced away, seemingly in thought on how to answer, “Yes and no. Temporary candidates don’t feel physical touch. That’s reserved for our full-timers. They’re the only ones whose entire consciousness is uploaded into the system.”</p>
<p>“Full-timers are...dead?”</p>
<p>“Passed over, but yes,” she corrected her gently with a nod, “When a candidate passes over and is permanently placed into the database, San Junipero becomes their reality. They still feel little to no pain, depending on their preferences before they pass, and they still don’t suffer any physical damage. But when they walk in the sand on the beach, they feel it between their toes. If they kiss another candidate, they can feel it along with whatever internal feelings come with it.”</p>
<p>Swallowing hard, Cheryl averted her gaze to her lap, picking at a loose piece of skin around her fingernail. So if she understood correctly, if she had gone back to Toni’s place last night, she wouldn’t have been able to feel her lips on hers, but she would have still felt the butterflies in her stomach and the inevitable internal pleasure that came with whatever Toni was planning.</p>
<p>“Any other questions? You look a little lost in thought over there,” Betty chuckled, reaching up to tighten her ponytail.</p>
<p>“I’m confused I guess…”</p>
<p>“About what? You can talk to me, Cheryl, I’m a licensed psychologist, I’m not just here to send you into cyberspace every week,” she smiled, making the redhead smile as well. </p>
<p>“I just don’t understand why I’m...a part of this? Is anyone else here getting to do this?” she kept her voice low as she glanced up at her with confusion in her brown eyes. This seemed like something really special and important. Why, of all people, was <em>she</em> picked to experience it?</p>
<p>“You’re the only one. Your brother reached out to us after hearing about the program. He told us that after ten years of you being in here with no progress or chance of release...that maybe it was time to try a different approach. Something more personal and catered to your needs.”</p>
<p>Tears sprung to Cheryl’s eyes at those words. “Ten years...? I’ve been here that long?”</p>
<p>“I’m afraid so,” Betty frowned, slowly reaching over to place a gentle hand on her pale, scraped knee, lowering her voice to a whisper, “But I promise, I’m going to try to help you get better enough that you don’t have to be here anymore. Do you remember why you were sent here?”</p>
<p>A few silent tears fell from her eyes as she nodded her head. She remembered. She remembered the day she was brought in with hardly anything. She remembered watching in horror as her parents walked away after dropping her off without so much as a goodbye. She remembered struggling as she fought as hard as she could against the two bulky orderlies who dragged her towards the cell that’s apparently been her home for the past decade. </p>
<p>“Well, I’m here to help you. My main goal is to help you recover from your past traumas. I’m hoping to have you out of here within the next six to eight months. The San Junipero system is mainly to help you adjust to being out in the world again. Though, in there, everyone is twenty-one, regardless of how old they are in the real world. I guess aside from the fact that you can’t feel much of anything, that’s the only difference.”</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>With a shrug, Betty shook her head with a smile, “When developing the system, the founders figured that twenty-one is the best time of a person’s life. You’re old enough that you can do pretty much anything while still being young enough to enjoy it without many consequences. Not to mention the fact that alcohol is served, they had to make sure that it complied with the legal drinking age. So we have candidates as young as twenty-one and as old as a hundred and three.”</p>
<p>Raising her eyebrows in surprise, the twenty-eight year old redhead looked at her doctor with a slacked jaw. </p>
<p>“I know, that sounds crazy to think about. When you’re there, everyone is your age. But for all you know, the cute boy who offers to buy you a drink at Tucker’s could be a seventy year old man with Alzheimer’s in reality.”</p>
<p>“Wow,” she breathed, wincing a little at the thought.</p>
<p>“But everyone is there for a reason. A lot of them are elderly Alzheimer’s patients. Some are younger, but have been in comas for years. It’s a complete mixed bag. But you’ll find that everyone has their own stories to tell and their own reasons for being there. But just like how you don’t have to tell anyone your story, no one is obligated to tell you theirs either.”</p>
<p>Nodding, Cheryl bit her lip gently, now wondering why Toni was there and how old she really was.</p>
<p>“But I want your main focus to be on just having fun. Don’t stress about anything, because none of it is real. The only thing that’s real is your feelings. And those feelings, will be the topic of our discussions every week. I’ll be here every Tuesday morning for talk therapy, and you’ll go to San Junipero every Friday night. And we’ll talk for a little bit before and after.”</p>
<p>“What about the rest of the week?” she asked rather pitifully. She didn’t trust her with her life, but she liked Doctor Cooper. She was nice and understanding. Two traits that the rest of the doctors and nurses here didn’t have. </p>
<p>“Well, I’m unfortunately a floating doctor. I don’t work here at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy. However, you’re the only patient I have who doesn’t have an assigned caretaker. Most of my patients are older folks in nursing homes with staff who are trained in using the equipment for the program. I only visit with them once a month to check in. But I do have other patients outside the TCKR Systems company that I meet with for regular talk therapy.”</p>
<p>Nodding again in understanding, Cheryl sighed and leaned back against the brick wall covered in chipped paint. This was all so confusing and overwhelming. But Betty seemed sincere when she said she wanted her to get better. The trust would come in due time. For now, all she could do was just go with the flow. Betty would only be there with her two times a week. She just hated that she couldn’t tell the blonde everything she wanted to. Not with orderlies standing outside her door like guards, no doubt listening in on their conversations.</p>
<p>“Can I ask one more thing?” her voice was quiet as she glanced between the blonde and the metal burgundy door. </p>
<p>“Sure, Cheryl, anything.”</p>
<p>“Is it...private? Everything that goes on in San Junipero?”</p>
<p>“Oh, of course. Your experience is your experience. We’ll talk about it after each visit, but we don’t have to discuss everything. If something happens that you’d like to keep to yourself, that’s perfectly fine. Though, I’d appreciate it if you were as open and honest with me as possible so we can see that you’re making good progress.”</p>
<p>“So no one is watching or listening in?”</p>
<p>“Nope. It’s entirely in the database. The only thing I have access to is your BPM. But if I see it suddenly spike, that’s all I have. For all I know you either had really great sex or jumped off a cliff,” she chuckled, making Cheryl do the same as she blushed fiercely, “I won’t know unless you decide to share it with me.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” the redhead nodded, feeling a little more at ease about the program now that her more pressing questions had been answered. Now that she knew how it worked and that she wasn’t being spied on, she had a feeling that her five hours would be better spent come next Friday.</p>
<p>“So, did you make any friends last night?” Betty flashed a smile in her direction, ready to take down notes on her pad of paper again. </p>
<p>“Yeah, I guess,” Cheryl flicked her tongue over her lips as they curled into a small smile at the memory of pink hair and sweet perfume, “Just one.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hallo again! i hope y’all are staying home or staying safe if you can’t stay home. I’m hoping to get more of this FIC written while I’m stuck in quarantine but motivation is hard to find lately.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Maybe it was the fact that her veins weren’t flooded with a sedative, but Cheryl was practically buzzing today. Not that she got a tranquilizer every day. Only on days when she was supposed to have visitors. According to what she heard the nurses say, it helped keep her quiet. The only issue was, she didn’t know what she was meant to keep quiet about. She’d been here for ten years, nothing was out of the ordinary. She had the same routine every day until she started the San Junipero program. </p>
<p>Now, she had something to look forward to. She knew Tuesdays and Fridays were going to become her favorite days of the week. It used to be Wednesdays. Wednesdays were when they would watch Bob Ross on the small TV in the rec room. She would always watch his show with her nana when she was a child. And ever since she arrived here, it was the one constant reminder of her life before everything turned to shit. </p>
<p>And while she still loved Bob Ross Wednesdays, the days that Doctor Cooper came to see her were even better. The blonde was around her age, if not a little older. She tried to think of it as having a friend come to hang out with her instead of a therapy session. That made it a little easier to think about. She knew Betty wasn’t her friend, just her doctor, but it was nice to have a doctor to talk to that wasn’t a monotone old man or a sadistic nun.</p>
<p>Cheryl heard the sound of Betty’s voice approaching from the other side of the metal door along with jingling keys, making her heart beat pick up speed. Not only did she enjoy Betty’s company, but tonight she was going to be hooked back up to the system for her five hour session in San Junipero. She’d been looking forward to it since the day after her first time. After having her questions answered, she was dying to go back. She wanted to see Toni again and have an actual good time now that she knew that this whole thing wasn’t some kind of trap or a way to spy on her.</p>
<p>“Hey, Cheryl! Long time, no see,” the blonde chuckled as she stepped into the cell, the door being left open a crack behind her. Cheryl just laughed a little and watched her move around the room with her equipment. She’d just seen Betty on Tuesday morning. Somehow the doctor had managed to get permission to take her out into the garden for a bit of fresh air. Not even the bulky man in red scrubs following them around the whole time could bring Cheryl down. She couldn’t even remember the last time she’d been outside.</p>
<p>“How are you feeling today?” Betty asked, unlatching her briefcase to pull out a few things, one of which was a sleeck white remote control with a round chip resting towards the top. </p>
<p>“Is it weird to say I’m excited?” she blushed, tucking loose hair from her ponytail behind her ear.</p>
<p>“Not at all! I think it’s exciting too. I mean, the concept is pretty amazing. I’ve been in there once, but it was only a virtual reality simulator. I didn’t actually go in through the system,” she smiled at her and loaded up her laptop, “Is there something specific you’re excited about?”</p>
<p>“No, just...excited to go back. There’s a lot more I want to explore,” she lied with a shake of her head. Well, it wasn’t a total lie. There were places she wanted to see, but there was a person she wanted to see even more. </p>
<p>After a nod and a kind smile, Betty turned to her laptop and took a breath before standing up, leaning over to place the little round chip onto Cheryl’s temple, carefully avoiding the bruise and the slice of dried blood at the edge of her eyebrow. “What happened here, Cheryl?” she frowned, running a gentle thumb over the bruise.</p>
<p>The redhead flinched at the touch, trying to think quickly on her feet. She couldn’t tell Betty the truth, not with the goon standing outside her door eavesdropping. She’d be in for a world of even more pain once Betty left. Especially since that goon was responsible for the marks on her once perfect skin. “One of the girls got mad and hit me for taking the last roll at dinner last night,” she mumbled, not having the heart or the bravery to tell her that the bruises and cuts were simply her punishment for existing. </p>
<p>“Doesn’t seem like a valid reason for hitting someone,” the blonde gently pressed down to make sure the chip was securely adhered to her skin before sitting back in the chair.</p>
<p>“No, but she’s never liked me anyways,” she rolled her brown eyes in fake annoyance. On the rare occasion that she <em>was</em> allowed to eat with the other patients, the idea that they would actually get fresh dinner rolls worth fighting over was laughable. </p>
<p>Betty smiled and leaned back in her chair, “Maybe it’s best to avoid her if she’s easily angered like that.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I guess.”</p>
<p>“Well...do you have any questions or things you wanna talk about before you go in?” she sent her a warm grin that eased her nerves.</p>
<p>“I have five hours again?”</p>
<p>“Mmhm. Do you remember the feeling of going in and coming out last week? I know you were pretty out of it.”</p>
<p>“Not really. But I know it didn’t hurt.”</p>
<p>“Nope, no pain involved. It’s just like going to sleep and waking up. And at midnight when you come back, we’ll talk again, okay?”</p>
<p>Cheryl nodded with a tight-lipped smile, leaning back against the wall with her legs crossed under her. She watched Betty glance at her watch before looking back at her with a smile, wordlessly asking if she was ready. She responded with a nod in return, watching as the blonde’s thumb hovered over the button on the smooth white remote before pressing it.</p>
<p>Suddenly her vision went blurry before her eyes closed on their own, leaving her staring at the loading ring around the TCKR Systems logo once again. And before she knew it, the glowing green numbers were staring back at her when she opened her eyes. </p>
<p>With an eager smile and her bottom lip caught between her teeth, Cheryl threw off the covers and slid out of bed, rushing towards her closet. She practically threw the double doors open and sifted through the array of clothes she had. Today was the day for red. Red, as much as she hated the color in recent years, made her feel confident. It had been her signature color all her life. It made her feel powerful. </p>
<p>Especially in the form of a tight-fitting mini dress.</p>
<p>Biting her bare bottom lip excitedly, she laid the dress out on her bed before picking out a pair of black heels, slipping them on to make sure she wasn’t going to look like Bambi on ice when she wore them out in public. But apparently wearing heels was like riding a bicycle. Cheryl had been wearing heels since she was eleven years old, and apparently ten years in a mental hospital wearing nothing but canvas slip-ons wasn’t enough to make her forget how to walk in them. </p>
<p>Slipping on the dress, she ran her hands over the smooth material, wishing she could feel it under her palms. She still wasn’t used to not being able to feel anything. Honestly, she didn’t know if she would ever get used to it. </p>
<p>The redhead made her way to the bathroom, doing her hair and makeup a bit more extremely than she did last week. She had waves in her hair and red lipstick perfectly painted onto her lips as well as a bit more dramatic eye makeup than last week’s simple eyeliner and mascara combo. She was determined to impress this week, and after seeing her final look in her reflection, she knew she would be turning heads. And while she loved attention, there was only one head she was looking to turn tonight. </p>
<p>It amazed her how quickly her personality could shift just by knowing that she could do whatever she wanted. In real life, she was constantly in fear of when her next unprovoked punishment would be. She was only allowed to speak when spoken to. But here...here, she could be herself. She could be the <em>version</em> of herself that she never got to be out there. And what she hated the most was that this was probably her only chance at getting to live the way she wanted. So she knew she had to take advantage of what limited time she had.</p>
<p>With one last confident smile at her reflection, she twirled on her heel, making her red hair fan out behind her as she practically skipped to the door to her apartment, making sure she had her phone in the small black clutch. </p>
<p>She stepped out into the hallway, watching the same group of people she saw last week make their way down the hall. Only this time, the boys were glancing over their shoulders at her, much to the girls’ disappointment. But what they didn’t know was that Cheryl wanted absolutely nothing to do with their boyfriends. </p>
<p>Flipping her hair over her pale shoulder, she walked not far behind them down the hall, ignoring the dirty looks she got from the girls and rolling her eyes at the suggestive smirks she got from the boys. She tried not to let their whispers in the elevator get to her. She held her head high and pretended she didn’t hear anything before stepping confidently out into the apartment lobby and out to the sidewalk, letting her hips sway in a teasing manner as a little “fuck you” to everyone in the group. She could be catty too. </p>
<p>With some extra pep in her step, she could feel her body tingling with excitement as she approached the nightclub across from the diner. Though, right when she was about to step through the door, she was nearly mowed down by the same tall, leather-clad girl she helped save Toni from last week. </p>
<p>“Excuse you,” she said just loud enough for the girl to hear. Though the only response she got was an annoyed glance through dark brown eyes over her shoulder. Once the girl had turned back around and stomped across the street, Cheryl rolled her eyes and continued into the club, wondering what the hell her problem was. But she dropped her annoyance quickly, letting her excitement take over again. </p>
<p>She walked deeper into the neon-lit room, feeling the bass of the music bumping in her chest along with her steady heartbeat. She didn’t even know if Toni was here, but that Peaches girl storming out in a rage was her main clue that she was. From what she remembered the week before, the taller girl had something of an unrequited crush on the pink haired goddess. Not that Cheryl could blame her. Toni was probably the only thing they had in common. </p>
<p>She stood against the wall, looking around the crowded club. It would be easier to look for a head of pink hair if the neon lights weren’t turning <em>everyone’s</em> hair pink, blue, and a mix of other colors. </p>
<p>“Cheryl?” </p>
<p>She was about to let out a huff of impatience and frustration when the voice nearly made her jump out of her skin from behind her. But she turned around after collecting herself quickly, giving a polite smile to the redheaded boy behind her.</p>
<p>“Hey, um…”</p>
<p>“Archie,” his smile was boyish and lopsided, but at least he wasn’t like the creeps from her apartment building.</p>
<p>“Right. Nice to see you again,” she nodded. Maybe he wasn’t so bad. She did need more friends here anyways. Archie seemed like a nice guy who wasn’t a total pervert.</p>
<p>“Yeah, you too. You look amazing. Like...wow,” he looked her up and down, making her heart drop a little.</p>
<p>“Thanks,” she sighed. Maybe she had thought too highly of him too soon.</p>
<p>“You’re welcome,” he nodded rather awkwardly, not taking his eyes off of her, “Can I, uh...can I get you a drink or something?”</p>
<p>“Um, maybe next time. I’m kind of looking for someone,” she started walking backward with a bit of a wince on her face. He really was nice and he seemed harmless enough, but she didn’t have the heart to turn him down.</p>
<p>“Right. Maybe next time,” he called after her as she saw him wave in her peripheral vision. Maybe she felt a little bad, but she only had four hours left.</p>
<p>Scanning the place, Cheryl walked down the curved ramp towards the main floor, holding onto the railing as she kept her eyes open. Why was finding a gorgeous girl with pink hair so hard?</p>
<p>But then she saw her. </p>
<p>And she wished she hadn’t. </p>
<p>Toni was in the middle of the dance floor, smiling and laughing as she danced with some random girl with tanned skin and an afro of light brown hair. They danced closely without a care in the world as if they were the only two people in the entire club. </p>
<p>Cheryl swallowed thickly as she gripped tightly to the railing, watching Toni wrap her arms around the girl from behind as they moved to the music. That could have been her last week if she hadn’t been such a paranoid coward. She felt her fingers twitch as she tried to control her emotions. Even if she wasn’t in danger of being slapped across the face for getting too emotional, she still didn’t want to make a scene. She was still new here, she didn’t need that kind of reputation. </p>
<p>With a deep breath, she continued down the ramp and around the edge of the dance floor, trying to block out the sound of Toni’s loud joyful laughter that she could hear over the music. Instead, she brought herself straight to the bar, plopping down in a stool so she could stew in her jealous rage. </p>
<p>It wasn’t her fault. She’d always been the jealous type and she wasn’t afraid to admit it. Growing up, her brother was always the one who got better toys, more attention, more praise. While she was pretty much tossed to the side like the accident her parents always told her she was. Jason was the one they wanted, she just happened to come tagging along like she always did. She never harbored any negative feelings for her brother, though. Jason always stuck up for her and shared with her what he could. Sure, she still wished that their parents even thought half as much of her as they thought of him, but he took care of her as best he could. </p>
<p>“Another water, princess?” </p>
<p>She scrunched up her nose at the nickname from the bartender behind her. Of all the times she’d been called ‘princess’ in her life, she still hadn’t been treated like one. Usually “princess” was followed by unwanted touches and a bruised cheek if she fought back. </p>
<p>Spinning around in her stool, she shot the tall bartender a sickeningly sweet smile with her eyes turned to slits. “Wild Turkey on ice,” she shot at him, feeling her body heat up with rage when he laughed.</p>
<p>“Feeling bold tonight, huh?” He walked away before she had the chance to respond. Thankfully she didn’t have to tip him, because he certainly wasn’t getting one. </p>
<p>Turning back on her stool, her eyes found Toni again. She was wearing a white cropped t-shirt with some kind of design on the front and a cut off shoulder. Her light blue skinny jeans practically glowed under the lights, hugging her curves so tightly that it made Cheryl’s mouth go dry. She started to unconsciously scratch the outside of her thigh hard enough to draw blood if she could. Unfortunately, even here in this digital wonderland, she hadn’t dropped that habit. </p>
<p>Back in the real world, her thighs were covered in scars from her scratching or just digging her nails into her skin. As a young teenager, it was the only thing she could think to do when she came across an attractive girl. It was to both keep her uncontrollable emotions in check and punish herself for having such vile, deviant thoughts in the first place.</p>
<p>Running her fingers over the smooth, unmarked skin, she sighed to herself watching the two women dance. That should have been her last week. And she wished it could have been her this week.</p>
<p>“Wild Turkey on ice,” she heard the bartender mutter followed by the sound of the glass gently hitting the wooden bar.</p>
<p>She reached behind her for the glass, sipping at the cold drink that managed to warm her up inside. It took everything she had not to cringe at the taste, she could only imagine what it would feel like burning its way down her throat, but she was grateful that she couldn’t feel the pain. She had no idea how her father managed to drink this with a straight face. And while she wasn’t sure how alcohol would affect her here, she took the risk of downing the whole glass in less than four minutes, glaring daggers at the curly haired girl that had Toni wrapped around her the whole time. </p>
<p>“Another one,” she turned her head, placing the glass with red lipstick stains back on the bar for the man to take away.</p>
<p>“Might wanna pace yourself. Just cause you can’t feel the burn doesn’t mean you can’t get drunk,” he chuckled after getting her another one anyway. But Cheryl ignored his comment. Instead she saw flashes of red as the girl leaned close to whisper in Toni’s ear, prompting the pinkette to nod and take her hand before she lead them off the dance floor towards the booths that lined the edge of the large space.</p>
<p>She kept them in her line of vision as best she could, practically seething with rage as she downed her second drink, cringing at the taste as she felt her limbs start to tingle. </p>
<p>“Another,” she mumbled, trying not to slam the glass down. She heard him slide the glass back before returning moments later with the third one she had requested.</p>
<p>“Everything okay there, princess?” the bartender quirked an eyebrow at her from behind.</p>
<p>“Don’t call me princess,” she huffed, grabbing her new glass and sliding off the stool. She was a little uneasy on her feet, but she managed to make it towards the back of the club without spilling too much of her drink in an uneven trail on the floor. She caught sight of Toni sitting closely with the other girl. She was smiling at her as she talked, distractedly swirling her fingertip over the back of her hand that rested on the round table. </p>
<p>Sucking her teeth, she felt her rage return as she put her glass down on the table, getting up and making a wobbly beeline for the bathroom where she saw the head wavy pink hair and braids disappear. Her ankles nearly gave out under her as she stomped towards the bathrooms in the corner, shoving open the door to the ladies room. </p>
<p>“Who do you think you are?” she caught sight of Toni checking her makeup in the mirror before she glared at the other girls who were just loitering. Thankfully they got the hint to leave. </p>
<p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I think you’ve had a little too much to drink.”</p>
<p>“So is this what you do?” she slurred, leaning back against the door to make sure no one could come in to interrupt her. Though, a gust of wind could probably blow her over right now, so if someone were to try to come through the door, she’d be a goner. But she had a point to make and she wasn’t going to let herself be ignored or interrupted.</p>
<p>“Is <em>what</em> what I do, Cheryl?” Toni rolled her eyes, leaning against the row of sinks with her arms crossed over her chest.</p>
<p>“Flirt with a different girl every week? Cause I’m sure that Miss Grapes or whatever was one of your conquests before I came along.”</p>
<p>“Miss Grapes?”</p>
<p>“Grapes, strawberries, whatever.”</p>
<p>“You mean Peaches?” Toni chuckled, making Cheryl’s anger rise up more. Only this time it came with tears in her eyes. </p>
<p>“I thought you liked me,” she mumbled quietly, still slurring her words as she leaned back against the door.</p>
<p>“I did. I <em>do</em>. But you made it pretty clear last week that you weren’t interested. It’s not a big deal, but I’m not about the chase, Cheryl,” the pink haired girl shook her head, “I’m not Peaches, I’m not gonna keep going after someone who’s clearly not interested. I’ve got better things to do with my time.”</p>
<p>Cheryl bit the inside of her cheek as she willed the tears to stay behind her eyelids. “I’m not <em>not</em> interested,” she whispered, “It was just...my first time here, I didn’t know what to expect and you came on so strong with your stupid pretty smile and your stupid pink hair and it was just...a lot.”</p>
<p>Toni was quiet, but her demeanor seemed to soften as she glanced away from Cheryl, giving the redhead a moment of privacy to wipe a runaway tear from her cheek. </p>
<p>“I’ve never done this before, okay? I didn’t grow up able to date or even talk to who I wanted to. Even now, where I really am out there, I don’t have that freedom,” her words may have been slurred and dragged together, but she tried to remain as coherent as possible, even if it came with a little extra emotion. She had a feeling she was going to regret her over-sharing word vomit later. “So can you just...tell me what to do, here? Make it easy on me? I’m interested, Toni, I am. I just don’t know what to do,” her voice cracked and trailed off as her anger was quickly replaced with sadness, though frustration remained burning in her chest. </p>
<p>“Hey, okay, shh,” the pinkette soothed, stepping closer and reaching up to wipe her falling tears. Toni pulled her into a hug that had Cheryl gasping for breath. She hadn’t been hugged in so long. She couldn’t feel Toni’s body against hers, but she could feel the warmth and comfort that came with having a pair of arms wrapped around her. “It’s okay, I get it.”</p>
<p>“I’m s-sorry,” Cheryl whimpered into her neck. She hated that she couldn’t feel her. She could smell her perfume, she could feel the warmth from her body, but she wanted to feel Toni’s physical form against her. </p>
<p>Pulling back, Toni brushed a few strands of hair from Cheryl’s face. “Don’t be sorry. Let’s just get you outta here, okay? How much did you have to drink?”</p>
<p>“More than I should’ve,” she hiccuped, wiping her nose on the back of her hand, not even caring that it was impolite and a little gross.</p>
<p>“I figured that much,” Toni chuckled, helping her off the door, “Think you can at least tell me where you live?”</p>
<p>Cheryl closed her eyes and nodded, allowing herself to be pulled up and against the slightly shorter girl beside her, “What about your friend?” </p>
<p>“Who? Val? She’ll be okay. Just an old flame,” she waved her free hand and ushered the drunken redhead out of the bathroom and back into the noisy club.</p>
<p>Thankfully she wasn’t able to feel pain. She just knew that the thumping music would have her head pounding under normal circumstances. The room was starting to spin. Thank goodness Toni was leading her, otherwise she would have probably fallen over the railing between the dance floor and the ramp towards the doors. But after the pinkette said goodbye to the girl, Cheryl couldn’t help but smile a bit smugly to herself. Though, to anyone else it probably just looked like a dopey drunken grin. </p>
<p>“Stay with me, Bombshell, I’m gonna need directions,” Toni’s voice made her eyes snap open as she took in the view of neon colored streets and bustling crowds of twenty-one year olds looking to make the most of the rest of their time. </p>
<p>“Ummm...thataway,” Cheryl half up her arm and pointed a weak finger in the direction of her apartment building. Yeah, she definitely shouldn’t have drank so much in such a short amount of time. It was bad enough that she couldn’t even feel the pavement under her feet, but adding alcohol to the mix? She’d probably be better off crawling home. </p>
<p>“Okay, hang on,” Toni sat her down on a nearby bench and reached down to take off her heels, making her giggle almost maniacally, “Stop laughing, I just don’t want you to break your ankles.”</p>
<p>The redhead giggled and waved a hand, “I wouldn’t feel it anyways. Betty said so.”</p>
<p>“And Betty is...?” Toni chuckled, pulling her to her feet again with her shoes in her other hand. </p>
<p>“My doctor. She’s really nice. She’s out there with me right now, so you can say hi,” Cheryl pointed up to the sky with a sleepy grin, “I’m in my cell.”</p>
<p>“Your what?”</p>
<p>“It’s just a room but...it feels like a cell. Metal door with...squeaky hinges…” she mumbled with a yawn. Toni was silent after that, but thankfully the whiskey in her system stopped her from overthinking it. Her apartment building wasn’t too far anyways, so the remainder of the walk wasn’t dreadfully silent for long. </p>
<p>“What floor, Bombshell?” Toni asked, causing Cheryl’s eyes to open. Apparently they were already in the lobby, waiting in front of the elevator. </p>
<p>“Nineteen,” she hummed in response, her eyes closing again as she stepped into the elevator. She knew she was probably inconveniencing Toni by putting all her weight on her, but at least Toni wouldn’t feel any pain from it. She heard a button being pressed before she felt the elevator going up, causing her to giggle at the sensation of gravity being defied. It made her already spinning head spin more, as she nuzzled into Toni’s neck. </p>
<p>After another beep, she was being ushered out of the elevator and into the hallway of seemingly endless symmetrical doors. </p>
<p>“Please tell me you know which one yours is,” Toni sighed, adjusting the girl against her side.</p>
<p>“Eighty-seven,” she nodded surely, though her voice was laced with exhaustion. She didn’t want to be sleepy, she wanted to have Toni show her everything she missed out on last week when she turned her away like an idiot. But for now, she was content with having the girl walk her to her door, keeping her at least a little steady as she stumbled down the hall. “This one,” she pointed to the door, pressing her thumb to the little scanner where a doorknob should be. </p>
<p>She allowed Toni to guide her in as she giggled. She was probably being really annoying right now, but for once, she didn’t care. She was having a good time for once in her life. She was in the company of an absolutely gorgeous woman, away from her parents, away from <em>anybody</em> she knew, and out of that god awful hospital. The only way that this could be better was if it were all real and not some crazy digital simulation.</p>
<p>“Oof-“ she was plopped down onto her mattress with an uncomfortable huff before she started to giggle all over again. Why couldn’t she stop? She had never been a giggly drunk before. “Mm, you’re gonna have to teach me what to do,” she hummed, reaching up to weakly grip the sleeves of Toni’s t-shirt in her fists, trying to pull her lips down to hers. But her giddy smile was replaced with a heavy pout when Toni shook her head and pulled away.</p>
<p>“Not gonna happen, Bombshell,” the pink haired girl chuckled and stood up straight, leaving Cheryl lying flat on her back on top of the comforter. </p>
<p>But the redhead propped herself up on her elbows, her pout intensifying as she looked up at her, “Why?”</p>
<p>“Cause I’m not in the business of taking advantage of girls who can’t even stand on their own two feet without falling over,” she crossed her arms over her chest with an amused smirk, watching as Cheryl sat up with some struggle, propping herself up on her knees near the edge of the bed.</p>
<p>“I’m not <em>reallllly</em> drunk. This is all fake,” she argued with a loopy little grin on her red painted lips, circling her arms around Toni’s neck when they were eye-level with one another. </p>
<p>“It’s real enough that you might regret it,” she unhooked the redhead’s hands from around her neck and eased her under the covers despite her protests.</p>
<p>“I won’t regret it, Toni,” Cheryl shook her head like a petulant child, “I promise, I won’t!”</p>
<p>“Don’t go making promises you can’t keep, cutie. It’s fine, okay? I’ll be around,” she sat on the edge of the bed and reached over to tuck a bit of hair behind her ear for her, making Cheryl’s heart beat so hard in her chest that she was sure Toni could hear it.</p>
<p>Glancing at the alarm clock on her nightstand, she sighed quietly. Only a little over two hours left. This week was supposed to be great and she blew it. “I’m sorry,” she looked up at Toni with glassy eyes and a frown on her face.</p>
<p>“Don’t be. Trust me, you’re not the first drunk girl I’ve had to escort home,” she chuckled. But that only made Cheryl feel worse as she was reminded that this wasn’t as new and exciting to Toni as it was to her. The pinkette had god knows how many years of experience with girls, whereas Cheryl hadn’t done more than <em>look</em> at another woman. </p>
<p>“What if next week you find someone else?” she whispered, lazily drawing patterns on her tan knee, wishing she could feel her skin under her fingertip.</p>
<p>Toni sighed and glanced around the room as she thought of an answer, which took a torturously long time in Cheryl’s opinion. “How about...next week, you meet me at Pop’s. No booze, just you, me, and a couple milkshakes...and we’ll see what happens, okay?”</p>
<p>Cheryl’s heart fluttered in her chest as Toni’s fingers laced with hers. She didn’t know what she did right to deserve someone like her. All her life, she’d been told that she was doing things wrong. She could never do anything right. But she had to have done <em>something</em> good to have ended up here.</p>
<p>“Will you stay here with me, at least?”</p>
<p>Toni glanced at the clock, watching as the green numbers turned from 9:47 to 9:48 before glancing back at the redhead who just couldn’t seem to keep her eyes open anymore. “Yeah, I’ll stay,” she squeezed Cheryl’s hand as she drifted in and out of sleep.</p>
<p>With a sleepy smile, Cheryl willed herself to stay awake. Even if they didn’t do what she thought they were going to, she wanted to spend time with Toni. She wanted to get to know her. She wanted to know <em>everything</em> from her favorite color to the name of her first grade teacher. Even if she <em>wasn’t</em> wildly attracted to her, Cheryl somehow put her trust in Toni as a friend; Something she didn’t do with <em>anyone.</em></p>
<p>“I’m really glad I met you,” she mumbled, half asleep with a slight grin still on her face.</p>
<p>Toni just chuckled above her. And as much as the redhead wanted to open her eyes to catch a glimpse of that glittering smile, she just couldn’t get her eyelids to cooperate. But she felt a rush of warmth from her forehead, causing her entire body to feel like it was filled with warm jello. She was met with the sight of Toni’s face slowly pulling back from apparently pressing a slow kiss to her forehead, making her giggle tiredly as she held tighter to her hand.</p>
<p>“Get some sleep, Bombshell. Just remember Pop’s next week. Don’t leave me hangin’.”</p>
<p>“I won’t. I promise,” Cheryl’s eyes closed again before she fell fast asleep with a small grin on her face.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>